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Chris and Willie Wonka

by Beth Kane

       

I am Chris's godmother, so naturally I think he's brilliant.

My sister, Sandy, and I used to take 3-year-old Chris grocery shopping with us. Sandy always gave him a penny before we began shopping, and Chris would surprise us by offering us gum from the gumball machine. We thought he probably just got lucky and instead of one piece of gum, the machine accidentally dispensed a couple more.

It soon became clear that something else was going on. Chris would be chewing on 3 or 4 gumballs with some difficulty and a lot of drooling. I think he was partial to the blue gum. He'd offer a gumball to us every now and then.

When Sandy and I figured out that something was up (we were slow learners), we watched Chris go back to the machine, and with his right hand and a very deft touch, he'd reach all the way up into the shoot and grab as many gumballs as his little fist could hold without getting stuck on the way out. I suppose he probably had to forfeit a gumball for his freedom every now and then.
 


 


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"I had totally forgotten the gumball scam. I do remember a "joke" he pulled when he was about the same age. Mum and I took him shopping with us and his sisters in a fabric store at a mall. He disappeared and we were frantic, calling for him, looking all over the mall, and finally getting security to look for him. After about an hour of listening to my crying and Mum talking about what a monster he was, he jumped out of the rolls of upholstery fabric under a huge table. He had thought it was a wonderful game to lie straight amidst the long bolts and "hide" from all of us. I hugged and kissed him. Mum just shook her head and muttered something about "a chip off the old block.""

by Sandy Heiler 

"I figure we probably owe the grocery store about $4 worth of pennies for pilfered gumballs."

by Beth Kane 

"This was when I was still headed for Corporate America. I realize now, the error of my old ways, and see it is clearly better to be elbow deep in the cookie jar."

by Chris Heiler